in Him we are one family by Rev Christopher P Foustoukos

Jesus must have shocked the people listening to him the day members of his family stood outside his door waiting to speak with Him. “Who are my mother and my brothers?” He asked the people around him. “Whoever does the will of God is my brother, and sister and mother” (Mark 3: 33,35).

Jesus had made it perfectly clear: in Him we are one family. We are, as close to Him and one another as blood relatives, and He want us to treat each other as we would treat our own family members. He also wants us to truly be united in Him. So how can we become agents of unity in whatever family or community we find ourselves?

I want to talk about some very practical ways to work out our differences, avoid division, and love one another. To do these things, we need a heart of mercy and compassion and a deep desire for unity. But the more we practice, the better we become in preserving this precious unity that God has given us in Jesus Christ.

LISTEN Truly listening, with our hearts and not just with our ears, is difficult. But it’s the first step in under-standing where another person is coming from and why they believe or act in a certain way. Especially when we have differences, we should ask the Lord to help us listen first to the other person and their side of the story. That requires that we withhold judgment while the other person is talking, and not try to formulate a response even before they have finished.

ASSUME THE BEST When someone acts in a way we don’t expect, or that we even disapprove of, it’s easy to assign some fault on their part. But what if we tried instead to look for a reason that put someone in the best possible light instead of the worst? How differently we would react to such situations if we tried to assume the best...even if that didn’t turn out to be the case.

DON’T GOSSIP Gossip is destructive, not only to relationships, but to an entire community. And yet it can be so tempting to engage in it. That is why we need to guard our tongues at all times.

USE UPBUILDING SPEECH Negative humor is not the only way our speech can bring others down. Constant complaining is another way to poison an atmosphere. So is constant criticism. While we all have reasons to be angry or annoyed, whether at a situation or at a person, the way we express our feelings is critical. We need to remember that anger or irritation is contagious and can infect someone else, creating a general negative environment that can lead to discontent, rancor, and division. That doesn’t mean we can’t be honest and share how we feel or how we are dealing with a situation. But we can leave our listeners built up by staying hopeful or sharing how God is working in a situation.

AVOID FORMING FACTIONS It is tempting in situations for people to band together to try to push through their agenda. It takes faith and patience to wait on God to see what his solution to a problem might be. But it often leads to a better solution and avoids the need to take sides, which always risks lasting damage to a community.

FORGIVE AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS Forgiveness is a two-way street. We need to ask for forgiveness when we have offended someone or let them down in any way, and we need to forgive when some one comes to us and says they are sorry. We all know how hard this can be, but for unity to grow, there is nothing more important than forgiveness and reconciliation. No matter how much we try to love one another, we will fail from time to time. In every situation, we need to ask the Holy Spirit to soften our hearts so that we are ready to forgive and just as ready to ask for forgiveness. The more often we so this, especially with minor offenses, the easier it gets and the more we are able to forgive when the offense is greater.

BE A WITNESS TO UNITY We all have an obligation to make our community a place where people can trust one another and grow in their faith. We can’t control the actions and reactions of other people, but we can control our own. Our efforts to create loving communities and lasting relationships with our brothers and sisters do make a difference. So keep asking the Holy Spirit to help you preserve unity, whether that’s in your family, your small group or our parish community, or even in your workplace. Together, you can be a witness to the unity that God de-sires, both for our community of believers and for the world at large.

+Father Chris